I have promised

“I have promised –
Way too many times –
That I would be alright.
Ups and downs
I have gone through,
Yet, all I have ever found
Is a nonexistence identity
And no wonderful portrait
Of what life ought to be.
I realised a few years back
No answer is there to find,
No masterclass to study for,
I got no A’s on this one.
Life is an everyday class
Unexpected no matter what,
Quite sneaky too, for I never know
When I must get ready too.
I never really liked surprises
But life clearly doesn’t care:
Let’s throw her a scare
And laugh about it instead!
And all I have done so far
Is to have promised –
Way too many times –
That I will be alright.”

Ana.

Originally posted: March 5, 2018

To reminisce

“In the silence I love, I reminisce
About the bad and the good I miss
From the years that, my past, have built,
A maze so long I must stop to remember I exist.

It is only looking from above that I can see
How much the distance between us has increased,
Teaching me to subdue my instinct to write you
A text or another lonesome poem about you.

In many ways, it is the end of an era,
For letting the past go has been making miracles
To a heart that struggled to find what matters
The most, in a world where words aren’t meant to be lyrical.”

Ana

First

“Tell me, is it odd how I knew from the start
We would, one day, end up where we are?
Is it impossible for you to believe me now
That we can longer see dust of the aftermath on the ground?

Deep down, my heart always knew
As it tried to warn me about you,
Pointing out, quietly, I would regret my decision
Of ignoring how the fragile bridge between us was igniting with friction.

Stubbornly, I did it anyway
And, silently, my heart gave way
So to teach me a thing or two
About trusting myself more than you.

Nowadays, I take my sweet time to listen to it,
Trying to make amends for dismissing it
In a moment in life when I didn’t know
That, to help another’s heart, I must, first, love my own.”

Ana

The path

“The path’s lonely on this side of the mountain,
I keep on going towards the water fountain,
Hoping to kill the thirst that’s been growing for miles,
After overcoming several tribulations and trials.

My scars are aching under the burning sun,
Days have been rough but I’m not done,
I’ve grown tougher and have now thicker skin,
For I’ve learned the change first starts within.

The unknown has always troubled me
But I can’t let it keep me from where I want to be,
So I take my time to rest under the trees
Weaving new plans with the help of the breeze.”

Ana.