After a heartbreak rendezvous

“If my heart ever ceases to beat
After a heartbreak rendezvous,
Let it be known I fought for what’s true
Even when I got left behind, cold and blue.

Remind the naysayers that I can survive
Even without a pristine, unbroken heart,
For I have fought the world, when it let me down,
Alone, no more good hearts abound.

Despite the morning mist, I still stand,
Shattered pieces still work even if not tied up together;
So, I say, may this be a lesson for future me:
I can fight, get broken, and yet, still breathe…”

Ana

Free

“The sun warms my face –
Even though it’s winter,
It still sticks around.

I breathe in the fresh air –
Even though it’s freezing,
I’m not leaving.

I observe life slipping away,
But I won’t ask you to stay,
I am finally free, starting today.”

Ana.

Originally posted: January 24, 2021

Better

“My heart is a sun storm,
A warrior battling for more
Than all the empty words
It has repeatedly been offered.

With moon tears
Rolling down my face,
Help me to erase the fears
That keep growing inside me.

Helpless, silent cry
Nothing is quite right,
But the moon still rises,
The sea still dances.

And a new day always follows,
Putting down my insomnia to rest;
I might not be there yet,
But one day I’ll wake up
And I know I’ll feel better
Than I did yesterday…”

Ana.

Originally posted: May 30, 2021

From zero

“Uncertainty grows like ivy,
Thoughts like these only feed anxiety,
But through the meadow I keep on walking,
Fuelled by the words I keep on writing.

I risk it all despite the fear of falling,
I jump head first into the unknown mystery of tomorrow,
And on the many cross roads I seem to find, I always pick a side,
Even if, by now, I still feel like I never got any of them right.

Failure lurks in the shadows
Poisoning my endless, sleepless nights
With nonsensical stains of sorrow
Of a future that might never see the light.

If I fall, I always get up –
This is the truest thing I’ve found
That gives me the strength I need to go on
From zero to infinity and beyond…”

Ana.

Originally posted: April 7, 2021

My heart’s questions

“My heart feels puzzled all the time:
Why are there hearts playing stones
And stones playing hearts?
How much does the cold own
To break them all at the same time?

Where’s the warmth and kindness
So typically ours?
Where’s the playfulness that comes
In atypical hours?

My heart’s questions remain unanswered
As they meet a void that can’t be measured
For it seems to grow every day a little more
Behind every closed door…”

Ana

Day by day

“Sun beams playing hide and seek,
The moon fades out to watch you breathe,
As I struggle to reach out in my sleep
For the serendipity I haven’t found for a year.

The stars are said to be aligned,
If I’m honest, by now, I don’t mind,
If such mystery is yet a dream destined
To marvellously transform shadow into light.

Alone, I have found my own sparkle,
From dust to dust, flowers have sprouted,
And, day by day, I reason with myself
After all, all’s well that ends well…”

Ana.

Originally posted: April 4, 2021

Only one way

“I felt myself crumbling overnight,
Like a castle of cards left unguarded,
In all its glory, next to an open window.

Surrounded by pieces of my heart,
I tiptoe around the shattered glass –
How beautiful the glimmery bits could be,
If only they weren’t broken parts of me…

It takes more and more strength
To come back up after a fall,
Harder to find a way I can
Believe in myself at all…

Mending my heart,
Time after time,
Picking it from the ground,
I know there’s only one way up now.”

Ana.

Originally posted: March 14, 2021

Only Hope

“How many times have I told you
That I lie awake through the night,
That I miss who painted me blue,
That I pray for all to be alright?

How many tears have I cried alone
Hoping for a strike of luck I could call my own,
Handmade by calloused hands, my very own,
Shaping a place in my heart that I would call home?

In a deep and rooted silence, my precious dreams
Sometimes feel like lost mirages of empty caskets at sea
That I still hold onto for no better reason than my whims,
Perpetrating my wishes of impossible things further than the eye can see.

For all the years I have been seeking
To follow my heart’s deepest desires,
My love kept running on an empty stomach,
After all, butterflies are but little fleeting fires.

Of moments, I could give you a pile,
They do stretch for miles and miles,
But there’s an equal trail made of tears
That only Hope, somehow, remains unbored of
As she continues to choose to stay near…”

Ana

Time & I

“Time and I
Haven’t been seeing eye to eye –
All is a blur but days fly by,
When I think I got it right
I never do, after all, who am I?

Life and I
Have been struggling, I will not lie –
Too many lows and not a single high,
Battling through every sleepless night
Trying to believe I will make it out alright.

Myself and I
Have been feeling exhausted all the time –
Putting on a brave face, laughing so not to cry,
I push everyone away, this is a one-on-one fight,
Too numb, by now, to know if I’m living even though I am alive…”

Ana.

Originally posted: November 11, 2020

Ancient tide

“At the sunrise,
The ancient tide
Is my only friend,
Listening to me cry,
Way too many times.

The ancient tide still tries
To teach me to loosen my ties
Wherever in the world I might
Find myself struggling to hold on too tight.

To let go would mean nothing,
If the aftermath wasn’t the real fire,
Reducing me to heartache and ashes,
I still need to learn to put off with my axes.

And whenever the ancient tide
Laughs at me for my lack
Of patience and rhyme,
I remember that storms at sea
Still welcome the most patient of streams.

I may be hurting, but I’m still growing,
I may be burning, but I’ll be a flower
Blooming from the ashes,
And I will ease my every storm
By sailing onto calmer waters.”

Ana.

Originally posted: October 25, 2020