“If you ever gave me flowers,
I would burn away my sorrows,
Feeling their victorious sweetness
Intertwining with the smoke of my bonfire.
If you ever gave me flowers,
I would give you sunshine in a bottle,
Taking care of its precious treasure
As colourful as a rainbow.
But you never gave me flowers,
And, through storms and whirlwinds, I have found
I must now become my own flower
And, without you, I must grow.”
Ana.
Originally posted: October 21, 2020
“The mirror tells tales
Only dead men
Have seldomly tried.
The mirror tells lies
Of princesses that don’t cry
And soldiers that don’t die.
The mirror tries and tries
To catch you in its web,
Way too many times.
The mirror, to you, lies;
So open your eyes,
For the light within you still shines.”
Ana.
Originally posted: October 11, 2020
“To release the fear
Of thinking what if I don’t succeed,
I must remember:
I will make it through every new storm,
In my path, life may throw,
And I will learn
To fly after I fall,
To rise after I crawl,
To fight no matter what
And always stand tall…”
Ana.
Originally posted: October 14, 2020
“I travel down rocky roads,
Too many like so, it’s all a blur,
And I don’t want to feel numb,
But as the heat collapses me,
The cold freezes me to the bone.
Every step of the way I have tried
To reason with myself and time,
Trying to learn the virtue of patience
But hopelessly failing time after time.
My mind stubbornly spins the wheel
Of past sorrows and future worries,
Whilst my heart holds on too tightly
To the last straw of hope it always seems to find.
Behind me, of the roses I have planted along the way,
Some have mercifully, by now, died,
But believe me their thorns haunt me every time
I find myself roaming back to the past
So to reminisce the moment I have seen you last.”
Ana.
Originally posted: October 7, 2020
“The pain comes back in waves,
I’m a shell broken against the rocks,
During a storm that lasts too long
For me to catch a breath in-between lightnings.
The rain falls warm like teardrops,
I’m alive otherwise I would be vanishing,
Turned into dust, a forgotten piece
Lying on the face of earth.
The sea rocks me back and forth,
So I kiss the sand trying to find a way
To get back on my feet, silently, on my own,
Pushing through a struggle like it’s all I’ve ever known.
Life, dearest and toughest Life,
I know you want me to strive
But sometimes I get tired
Without another heart to hold
And to remind me I’m whole
Whenever I can’t seem to do it alone…”
Ana.
Originally posted: September 27, 2020
“Don’t leave me waiting,
Don’t leave me wondering,
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To help, to guide, to save you.
But if I’m drowning
How can you be running?
Further away, are you a blur
Or has the sunlight finally blinded me?
I’m forever the one bleeding
Through my storms and from the cut you did on me for leaving,
How can you close your eyes at night to sleep?
How isn’t the memory of me haunting your dreams?
I won’t crush your parade, baby,
But I hope you know I’ve never needed anyone to save me,
I’m still striving, I’m still cruising,
Loosened ties, on my own, I’m dancing.”
Ana.
Originally posted: September 16, 2020
“If I fight for my dreams
Will you still be with me?
Or will you leave and call me silly
Like all the ones before you did to me?
My feelings echo in my hopeless heart,
Playing the strings of my restless mind.
Do you understand the beauty of such art?
Do you understand this all fuels my heart?
Why do I have to shut it down
Just because those around
Solely point fingers at my flaws,
Tearing me down like it’s all my fault?
Without my art, I am nothing;
I’m numb to life in all its glory,
For I am not myself whenever I’m rushing
To get somewhere someone needs me for something.”
Ana.
Originally posted: July 31, 2020
“Trying to walk with the same shoes
I used to wear when I was ten
Is pointless for they don’t fit me anymore,
So why would I even think it possible
To fit the mind of who I am today
In the mind of the person I was yesterday?
I can’t go back to who I once was
Yesterday, last week or a year ago,
For I have outgrown who I was then
And it’s time for me to move ahead
Knowing I’ll never be the past version of me again,
Realizing how wrong it is to think
That the best version I could ever be
Is already gone and not yet to be.
Through the battle I’ll keep on carrying
Who I am and who I was with such an art
People will believe there’s no pain inside my heart.
I thank my younger self for all the hell she has been through
And I shall promise I will keep on fighting, owing it to all my bruises.”
Ana.
Originally posted: December 4, 2019
“Words get caught up in my throat,
They get stuck in the countless knots
Of my stranded thoughts,
All because I feel confused and lost.
My emotions are a whirlwind
Of wonders and what ifs,
Daydreaming and wishing
For betters days and more promising tomorrows
That will grant me a safety place
For me to lie down and rest.
And just so, my mind could stop spinning
For a little while, at least, just enough time
Before the rest of my problems could start crumbling
Yet again above my head, taking it all back to the start…”
Ana.
Originally posted: November 8, 2018
“Am I a disappointment, am I struggling way too often?
To understand who I am on this never ending road
To nowhere, towards no one…
Emptiness I have left behind comes back to haunt me
Follows me slowly, tracking me through time,
I feel haunted by myself as the mirror shows a ghost
Of someone, a pale and sad girl, I’ve never met before.
Show me a route; show me the strength I keep losing,
So I can come back stronger and fight the devil till the end,
For I’m not weak, I have won many battles in the past
Even when I forget I have, even when I forget I can…”
Ana.
Originally posted: November 5, 2018
It Takes Courage... And lots of Chocolate 