The last time

Inspired by my ineptitude with unsaid goodbyes.

“How will I know
When it’s the last time
I’ll get to see your eyes
As they recognize me,
Lightening up the dark?

How will I know
The day we’ll wave goodbye
Will be the last?
Forever is such a long time…
How will I cope as it lasts?

There won’t be any sign,
No neon lights warning
Shouting from the sky, –
I lose my ground even now,
When I know I’ll still see you in town.

But the days slip from me
Like grains of sand I’ll never get to reach,
For I can’t empty every beach
Just to stop time from taking you away from me…”

Ana

In my farewell

“In my farewell I bid you goodbye
With tears trying to leave my eyes,
I play tough as hard as I can
But I have never felt this scared.

Heartbeat racing, I try to ignore it
Talking faster than I can breathe,
I run faster so to break the spell
Of missing a name I, again, shan’t ever spell.

I feel the nostalgia of moments
We will never get to share
On this tumultuous farewell
I fail to recollect myself.

I finally gather up all my broken pieces
Trying to mend the ones you touched carelessly,
As I keep all my doubts locked within my heart
For future notice and a late-night cry.

Hang in there, little girl,
Sometimes you are better on your own.
Toughen up, little girl,
You’re a strong woman of this world.”

Ana.

Originally posted: October 21, 2019

I will remember

“If this is the last time we get to say goodbye,
I will remember the smile in your eyes
And the way you bowed your head,
When I wished you luck on the path ahead.

If this is the last time we get to say goodbye,
I will treasure the glimpses of moments we shared,
Over doubts, trying times, and helping hands,
For they are all we have ever had.

If this is the last time, the last goodbye,
Eyes locked on eyes, trying not to cry,
I promise you, as I stand and watch you fly,
That I will remember you all my life…”

Ana

I know it now

“Beautiful words,
Rehearsed lies,
I know it now
It’s foolish to cry.

I got to move on;
There’s so much more
That will make me smile
As soon as I walk out the door.”

Ana.

Originally posted: November 6, 2017

Time to Say Goodbye

“Is there a perfect time to say goodbye?
Standing in line, patiently waiting my turn
To stand and say I’m going,
Farewell, adieu, my lovers,
I’m off for something new,
Self-discovering, a beginning of my own,
Heading on a different road, searching for clues,
Somewhere, anywhere,
As long as I keep going,
Having as destination some place far
From the ones, who, unmistakably,
Have led me to fall behind.”

Ana.

Originally posted: September 15, 2017

We did alright

“Once upon a time,
I didn’t know what to say
And even today
I fail to find
A way to make you stay.
We shared our heartaches
But that time has vanished
And surprisingly,
I’m alright –
You don’t mind
And neither do I.
I suppose we did alright –
Playing with each other’s heart
We still found a way
To get away clean,
Making it till the end
Safe and sound
Without realizing the end was near
By this time last year.
Now
You’re becoming a blur
Vanishing into the void of the world
My dear,
We did alright
No need for goodbye…
Am I right?”

Ana.

Originally posted: October 5, 2016

Why

“Came here to ask, but you don’t say a word
Came here to leave so why did you come at all?
Running away from your past
You toughen up; so why do you fall back
When you try so hard to turn your back?
Why do you run when you can walk?
Why do you stay silent when you want to talk?
And when you do speak what you’ve been trying to say
Why do you say goodbye when you want to stay?”

Ana.

Originally posted: July 8, 2016

Both at the same time

“We constantly say goodbye
When we want to try one last time,
Lips saying words the eyes contradict,
Brain over heart, reason over instinct.

My hands reach out but you’re not here,
Only the magnetic pull resist and insists
That I know you for more than just a few years,
A reason blossoming for my heart to persist.

I’ve always held on to nothing to find something
Within me, within you, that gave sense to what we are,
But we’re more than something and less than nothing,
And I wonder: how can we be both at the same time?”

Ana